I recently dug up a piece on traveling with an open mind I’d written in 2008 and one of the statements I quoted that really resonated with me is this:
Clifton Fadiman, a writer and critic, eloquently explains that “…when you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.”
There comes a point in many expats’ lives when they feel like their host country is out to get them paperwork-wise, and that quote couldn’t have come at a better time when I’d been banging my head against some minor bureaucratic madness that does exist here in Sweden despite its candy sweet demeanor.
Why can’t I keep my company name? Why is it taking 6 months to renew a permit? Why didn’t you send me a notice if you needed extra documents?
However, one thing I’ve quickly realized is that comparing “what is” to “what used to be” never really works. Comparing US protocols to Swedish rules just doesn’t jive. Come December, I’d have officially lived in Sweden for two years. Enough to know enough of the language to function pretty well (more on overestimating one’s language skills in an upcoming post).
Enough to know that you need to get your weekday shopping done before 5pm, and that many government employees take 6-8 week vacations too. Also enough to understand a lot of the nuances and intricacies of Swedish culture and just how closed it can feel if one isn’t truly linked in somehow – i.e. married to or dating a local.
There are varying degrees of expat integration here and the deeper I learn about the culture, the more it’s exposed. Looking over the last few years at some incredible offbeat places and amazing people like the Sámi I’ve gained access to here, it’s been nothing short of a blessing in many ways.
I was recently in Northern Sweden over the weekend, and my husband took me to a little out-of-the-way beach he hadn’t been to in close to 15 years. The sun was already beginning to set at around 2:30pm that afternoon, and the air was chilly. Definitely autumn. We walked along the shores, taking our usual goofy photos until we stumbled across some footprints.
They were pretty large footprints, and they got me thinking about setting tracks and carving one’s way where there seems to be no way. I thought of fellow expats, immigrants, residents, and refugees here in Sweden who have no direct cultural links, who have to completely carve their own way from day one, who aren’t inheriting friends, contacts, and family from a loved one.
They are the ones who truly inspire me when a minor bout of expat paranoia hits.
Latest News
[ Writing ]
I haven’t really been doing a lot of narrative writing (which I love), but I have penned more bill-paying service pieces and I’m certainly grateful for the stream of work. I take blessings as they come.
Heart & Soul – Power of Peppers – Oct/Nov Issue (Food writing)
Travel + Leisure – Article was also syndicated on MSNBC & Slate
Sweden.se – 10 reasons to spend winter in Sweden and Top places to see Northern Lights in Sweden
Delta Airlines – Wrapped up a guide to Lagos, Nigeria
[ Photography ]
Print – Super excited to have two photographs featured in two major magazines (UK & USA) come Jan/Feb. Will share them once published.
Stock – Recently signed with NordicPhotos and will be uploading photos there over the fall and winter.
Awards – Picked up two nominations in the Photography Masters Cup.
[ Interviews ]
Online – Honored to be interviewed by both Park Ride Fly and Inside Journeys.
@Adventure Rob – Great to hear from you and thanks for stopping by! It’s all about taking it one day at a time and staying grateful.
@Shelly – Thank you so much for your insightful and kind comments. I definitely agree with you especially regarding fighting challenges and changes. I hear you on feeling a part of so many places. I have strong connections to Nigeria, the US, and Sweden and feel at home in all three, though a lot more in the first two than the latter having spent more time there.
And thanks for the wonderful reminder that “each of us sets tracks in our own way”. Thank you!
Wow… your photo is striking! and the story that goes with it… powerful.
I think that many people who have many trans-cultural experiences are very flexible and accepting and open people… I suppose that is if… they don’t fight the challenges and changes too much and break from them.
In my experiences the most difficult part is feeling a part of so many places and yet not feeling like any place is my ultimate home -or maybe the travel bug is just too deep in me.
Also… one thing that I experienced was after growing up in PNG (my home)… I went back to the US and looked like I belonged… and yet, I couldn’t have been more clueless and was in culture shock -a “hidden immigrant” -there are so many ways that people can go through expat immigration and you are right -it is always easier if you are “linked” and have a close friend or family member who can make the transition easier!
I love what you say (and totally agree with it) –
“They were pretty large footprints, and they got me thinking about setting tracks and carving one’s way where there seems to be no way. I thought of fellow expats, immigrants, residents, and refugees here in Sweden who have no direct cultural links, who have to completely carve their own way from day one, who aren’t inheriting friends, contacts, and family from a loved one.
—They are the ones who truly inspire me when a minor bout of expat paranoia.”
However, I think that each of us sets tracks in our own way and by you writing a blog that so many can read and learn from and be inspired by … YOU inspire so many! Thank YOU!
-Shelly …my latest post… Land Evictions in Cambodia
PS… what a great idea for Nomadic Samuel to write about his experiences with how/why/what happened that he was deported… what people should and shouldn’t do, etc. That is really fascinating.
Expat life can seem to be against us sometimes, especially in overly bureaucratic countries but it’s all part of the fun at the end of the day.
I wish I had the stream of incoming writing jobs lined up 🙁 Keep up the good work.
@Hungary visitor tips – I definitely agree with you. That’s one of my favorite travel quotes!
@Pam – So true. Their struggles definitely puts things in perspective. Thanks!
@Amanda – That’s so odd. Hopefully you guys can get him his German passport soon. When I got married, I definitely had to get a new passport too and since in Sweden you really can’t have two last names, I moved my maiden name to my middle name.
@Anna – Tack! Definitely keeping an open mind here.
@Eva – It’s crazy, isn’t it? Time does fly and I’ve got a bit of news for you too…
@Nomadic Samuel – Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and sorry to hear about the deportation. Maybe it’s something you could write a bit more about? I bet there are other travel bloggers who may not know and may be in similar situations earning money from their blogs.
Hey Lola, I can really relate well to what you’re saying in this post. I’ve lived in South Korea for over three years and each year I feel I’ve improved in my ability to communicate with others and understand the culture a bit more; however, in some ways I feel like certain aspects remain the same. Most recently I lost my teaching job because an official was able to prove I made ‘some’ money from my travel blog. It really made me realize that as much as I consider Korea to be my second home, it truly isn’t from the standpoint of my rights as an individual. When I was deported last week I had such a wide arrange of emotions hitting me all at once I still haven’t quite come to grips with my situation. I think your positive attitude will take you a long way given your situation 🙂
I’m an expat too, but not in Sweden. Beaureaucratic problems tend to be uncomfortable and mind-numbing in any country, but I found that it’s more difficult to get used to the rhythm of daily, normal life…but that Clifton Fadiman quote sums it up nicely – after all, I didn’t become an expat to live ‘comfortably’, but because I wanted excitement – and that’s what I got 😀
“Come December, I’d have officially lived in Sweden for two years.”
Wow. Time flies, eh?!
Great post, Lola, and congrats on all the incoming work.
Excellent post Lola. It’s so easy to assume that things should work in one way or another. More power to you for being open and flexible and tackling this adventure with such poise!
Definitely a good point, Lola. I lived in Germany for a year before I met my (now) husband and it was certainly a different experience being a “pure” expat and one with a local link. Now that we’re in Australia my husband certainly notices (as do I, of course) that the incredible paperwork mountain required for life in Germany is definitely not found all over the world – much less red tape in every day life here. We’ve been trying to get a German passport for our little boy and I’ll be surprised if he gets one before he starts school – the bits of paper they want is truly ridiculous! (An example – they require a written justification about why my passport has my maiden name on it, despite my official name being my married name. Not sure how it is relevant to my son’s passport!)
Anyway … lovely post, as always 🙂
I was always stunned by the stories of those in my “Deutsch fur Auslanders” classes. Folks from war torn nations, refugees with no language, family, nothing, relocated, blammo, in rural Austria. I never settled into expat life, but I was keenly aware that they didn’t have a choice and that what they were doing was nothing short of heroic.
What you said, Lola, as always.
@Perlina – Thanks. It’s definitely one of those offbeat places only locals would know.
oh this is amazing !!! It’s a very beautiful place.
@Sandra – You definitely inspire me for sure! It can be very difficult navigating everything from scratch and in Swedish too.
Lola, Really liked this. I am one of those who moved here without a Swede and oh, how hard it was and often still is. The learning curve is really tough without that local connection.