I was shocked when I read the news off my husband’s iPhone.
A famous Swedish actor had died in a house fire on New Year’s Eve. Quickly turning to one of the other dinner guests, I tried explaining to her what I’d just read, expressing how horrendous it was.
She looked me straight in the eye for two seconds and burst out laughing.
I was confused. Why would someone’s death generate such forced laughter? She chuckled a bit more, nodded, and then turned away. We’d chatted freely earlier that evening – in Swedish – and the conversation had flowed both ways.
This time felt different, and it was then I realized she hadn’t understood a word I had said to her, and she felt too polite to say she hadn’t grasped it. If I’d been purely green, she might have stopped me or switched to English.
But she let me go on.
This wasn’t the first time I’d gone on and on in Swedish to a local only to have them respond incorrectly. They usually just pick out a few keywords, try to form the context of what I was explaining in their minds, and formulate incorrect answers.
Again, if I’d been an absolute beginner, they probably would have asked me to repeat or switched to English.
I’d finally moved into the class of intermediates – language learners whose hands weren’t being held anymore. We were now in the sink-or-swim category; that nebulous never-ending transition period one seems to find themselves in forever.
A transition period I now call the plight of the immediate speaker.
Moving through the beginning stages of Swedish was like hopping a cross-country flight from Los Angeles to New York. Sure, there were a few turbulent bumps along the way but it was a relatively smooth experience. I was then left standing on the shores of the Eastern US about to swim across the intermediate Atlantic Ocean towards Scandinavia. My goal being to land on fluent shores of Sweden before trekking upwards as a “master” to Stockholm and finally mastering the language.
These are the four levels of language learning I’ve geographically mapped out for myself. And now, I am right in the middle of the Atlantic, swimming as best as I can towards fluency along Sweden’s shores.
Sometimes, the waves carry me backwards. Sometimes, I swim past other intermediates.
Often times when a fellow intermediate pulls out an advanced word in class, I liken it to an unexpected swimming stroke. “That’s new?!,” I’d say to myself as rogue waves of stagnancy mentally push me backwards.
Never one to overestimate my Swedish-speaking skills, I know it’s going to take some time to reach fluency the way I know it needs to be reached. I may very well take a detour over to Greenland or Iceland and hang out there for awhile – plateaued in my speaking skills while mixing and matching words I already know to keep the conversation going on deeper levels.
And when I’m ready, I’ll jump back in again and continue my swim towards Sweden’s shores, finally becoming fluent. This means speaking without those awkward pauses of trying to collect my thoughts and mentally translating them from English. Completing that final trek towards mastery remains my ultimate goal, and this goal could take decades.
Right now, I need to keep treading water to stay afloat and just take it one stroke at a time.
@Andi – Absolutely!
@Perlina – Thanks so much for your thoughts. No worries. Your English is perfect 🙂 It’s always a moving target. I may speak a lot better than I let on but I can never fully think that I’m better than I really am in Swedish. No way.
@Michelle – I totally hear you. And that’s why I wasn’t too upset with the lady. She was caught in between politeness and awkwardness.
@Oneika – Oh yes!! One day 🙂
@EmmaculateReflections – Thanks so much. Besides Swedish, I only speak English and Yoruba. I took Spanish for awhile but I’ve forgotten most of it. I also tried learning German but it didn’t go too well.
@Julia – Ha! Love it and it’s so true. Even after 8 years, one can’t really say they’ve mastered a language.
@Yoneco – Thanks for stopping by! It looks like a shed but that’s someone’s living cottage. One day, we’ll definitely reach the shores of fluency.
I usually take people who say they’ve “mastered” a language that’s not originally theirs with a grain of salt. It’s so easy to overestimate one’s abilities at a language.
A detour to Greenland or Iceland? That’s funny!
When I try my supposedly intermediate-level Dutch on native Dutch speakers, they scrunch their faces like they’re in pain. So I recorded myself speaking it and totally understand why.
PS – In my nightly dreams, I live on a lake in Sweden, in a house like the one above…although that one looks a bit like a shed (?).
Yes, we can relate to that one – except with us it’s Turkish. Loved this post. As you’ve related your quest to learn Swedish to swimming, I think I can only describe our intermediate abilities as treading water! And that’s after 8 years. 🙂
Julia
Love the poetic way that you explain your struggles to learn swedish. I would love to learn another language. Do you know any others?
http://www.emmaculatereflections.com“>Emmaculate Reflections
I’m currently taking intensive Spanish classes in Guatemala and often have the same struggle. One day it will all come together. One day (soon)!
Aaah….I can relate to both you and the woman. When I lived abroad, I had to struggle not to pretend to understand someone’s English at times. Teaching ESL all day would exhaust my patience and I can think of several situations similar to this one you described, outside of the classroom, where I would pretend to ‘get it’ just to move on. But that’s wrong, and I try to be conscious of it. Especially considering I’m once again taking on a foreign language, and would feel bad if someone didn’t have the patience to hear me out!
Hej,
I laughed because it describes my swedish friends situation with French and also my situation with Swedish.
You have to know that French is a very difficult language to learn. (I am glad it’s my mother tongue)
My best Swedish friend had the same problem. He spent 2 years here and he still have a lot of problems to talk and to understand French. I could see from his face that he was on stress every time he has to speak and his answer was full of fault. And he was mad because I was laughing all the time.
He asked to me : what did I say ?
And me: you are so funny!! Can you repeat it again please. You make my day.
After a while I explain to him his mistake. Then he started to laugh with me. He said that I was impossible.
But it’s the same with swedish for me. I love this language and sometimes i am desperate. I am not fluent. But the little Swedish I know I said it very well. So most of the time Swedish think I can understand them. So they go on speaking, speaking and speaking very quickly.
And me, lost lost lost lost lost…))
After a while I say to them : ni pratar så bra svenka, but can you say it again in English ?
It’s an awful feeling because when you think that finally “have it and you can understand Swedish” you realize that you still have a long walk to do.
I VILL BLI FLYTANDE !!!!!
Ps : bye the way, my friend was so desperate with French language and french people that he moved to England !!!!!
Ps 2 : sorry for my english. I will do better next time.
I relate sooo well to this post, except for me it’s Spanish. We just have to keep reminding ourselves it’s a marathon and not a sprint!
@Amanda – Thanks so much for your insightful comment! I completely relate to those moments where I am sitting deep in conversation amongst others, totally lost, and yet can pull out bits and pieces of sentences.
Oh Lola, I relate all to well to this! My period of intermediate German coincided with the time shortly after I’d got together with the man who’s now my husband, and we started doing the rounds of Germany and Switerzland to meet all his family. Things would start out well with the usual standard kind of pleasantries and I’d chat away, getting compliments on my German, but later in the evening the conversation topics would turn to less straightforward things and I’d suddenly be entirely lost and they wouldn’t realise it and they’d ask me questions I just couldn’t answer – and I’d be so exhausted by it all!!
Thankfully you are right and it does get better (as long as, like you or I, you continue being immersed in the language) and then you can’t imagine it was ever like this (until you read someone’s blog post about it!).