“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom”….Kierkegaard
I read those self-diagnosing words in a recent article over at Brave new Traveler. Having telecommuted the last 3-4 years, I finally dove headfirst into full-time freelancing last year. Since then, I’ve been lapping up the absolute flexibility and freedom that comes with a lifestyle filled with possibilities.
Everyone seems to be craving a location independent lifestyle. Trying to break free of the suffocating choke of a cubicle. But no one ever tells you about that sneaky anxiety that begins to set in.
I’m not talking about uncertainty that comes with getting constant gigs, but rather, a restlessness that comes with setting one’s own schedule. I’m also not talking about passive income that comes with sitting back while SEO-based advertising and blog revenues roll in, but rather, those of us who love sharing art – be it poetry, visual arts, creative writing…
As with most creative individuals, there’s always a constant need to produce and keep producing. We tend to love deadlines because it temporarily caps creativity, otherwise we’d work ourselves to death.
Before diving into freelancing, I often wrote code late at night. At odd hours because my business day was usually spent assisting everyone else via meetings, peer code reviews, and troubleshooting. So actual tasks were often accomplished late afternoon/evening. Plus, I enjoyed it because I was continually creating, designing, and building… in essence, working all day long.
[ How I plan to deal ]
The problem with constantly being “on” is that one begins to work harder and not necessarily smarter. Working hours spill into offline hours. Discipline and routine begin to waver. So my recent trip to Sicily and Malta (more later) couldn’t come soon enough. In addition to getting away with the man, it was an opportunity to take inventory once more. To make sure I was still on my own path.
Refreshed, I’ve come back with four action items to aid the “working smarter” initiative:
(1) Remain choosy – Those who know me know I’m far from being a snob. That said, I just don’t have enough hours in the day to write 50 blog posts for $10 each.
(2) Limit distractions – Fully understand and accept that I can’t follow every thread, blog, and tweet, and frankly, don’t want to. The world doesn’t need to know every juicy detail of your life. Plus people have started googling “lola akinmade husband” to get to this blog which is kinda scary so I definitely will be limiting personal information too.
(3) Stay grateful – For this, I’ll continually tap into the prolific Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer, and by supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.”
(4) Do nothing sometimes – My husband has perfected this. This will definitely be a challenge, but I’m willing to try.
Have you recently stepped back to take stock of where your energies are currently being dispensed? You’d be quite surprised.
Photo shot with Nikon D300 in Norrtälje Kommun on assignment with the Red Cross.
@Nick – Thanks so much! MatadorU is a fantastic resource, has been endorsed by Nat Geo, and I can personally vouch for the quality of the content 😉
@Pam – Great to hear your voice here! That’s the issue with us creative types. That constant need to keep doing something, whatever it is. Looking forward to hearing more about your creative projects and congrats on AvidTrips as well! I just found out yesterday.
@Andy – Absolutely! Also love that you put it in perspective in terms of producing quality work. Giving the best of yourself instead of something subpar.
My best ideas come from when I’m doing nothing – well, I’m terrible at doing nothing, but I mean when I’m out on a hike, when I’m strolling through a foreign city and then stop to people watch in a cafe, or when I’m relaxing under the duvet reading a good book.
My editors pay me for a fresh writing perspective. My magazine readers want vivid inspiration. My consulting clients need awesome ideas.
So I agree – work hard, but take a break so you can give everyone the best.
Ah, Lola. What you said.
Usually, I have one big project and some creative stuff. Right now, I have a lot of small projects, most of them with a strong creative element, and I’m working “stupider” than ever before. I can work smart when things are capped, like your deadlines, I’m really GOOD at that. But when it’s a bit fuzzier, wow, what a mess. Right now, I barely know what day it is.
So here’s to your timely advice. And right now, I’m going to go do nothing and be appreciative of that.
Oh my gosh, what a wonderful website Lola! Truly inspiring. Beautiful photography, lovely insights. Very comforting to know you’re on planet! Best wishes to you 🙂 PS I linked in from MatadorU faculty info.
@Ekua – Been catching up on your intriguing Mexico/Cuba posts. Glad you had a wonderful refreshing summer. I totally hear you on the time management issue. Unless I personally become 100% disciplined in managing my own time, sometimes, I need external parameters like work or assignments to add deadlines that help manage time. Recently edited and published an article by a writer who talks about how technology affects how we interact. An interesting read – http://matadorgoods.com/technology-and-the-way-we-interact-while-traveling/
@Audrey – Thanks for dropping by and looking forward to new projects from you two! That’s the problem with creativity too. One feels the need to keep producing and producing. I suspect more “balance” will be my focus word for 2011. 2009 was “focus” and 2010 was “discipline.”
@Felicia – Great to hear that. The soul needs to be refreshed and healthy feed. It’s easy to fill up on spiritual junk food from all what’s going on around us. Always wiser to trust His own plans for your life 🙂
Going back to church tomorrow if God lets me see another day. I’ve been away too long, too long in my own head with my own self-imposed limitations. I’m going to let God take me farther than anywhere I could ever see or think for myself. I’m so happy right now. Thank you, lady.
Great post and I’m glad to see from your facebook update that you are taking time offline this weekend to be with friends and family. That’s so important to do to create balance and be sure that your passion for work doesn’t interfere with the time you have with loved ones.
Many of our best ideas have come from when we’re hiking, having dinner, talking with friends, or just reading a book. We’ve decided to be still for a few months to try and work on some projects and create new opportunities, but I find that I’m starting to feel a bit burned out because we’re not including enough down time into our routine. Thanks for the reminder here!
I was away for most of my summer break and came back feel refreshed and like I had a ton to write. But the few weeks of unstructured time I had felt pretty unproductive. Now that I am back at work (which involves very little computer time), it’s amazing how much better my time management feels (though it’s still far from good :P) and how much better I feel about life in general. As a relatively new blogger and travel writer, it’s hard not to feel like you need to be super visible online to actually get people to actually read what you write. But it all takes away so much from the time you have to create!
@Theresa – So great to hear your voice again and congrats on completing the guidebook! I hear you and it’s definitely a work in progress. Answers usually don’t come overnight but overtime when one prioritizes one’s life. It may actually take tuning out of the constant online banter, chatter, and noise for a week.
@Julie – Hope you cooked something fabulous! In the long run, tending to our families and offline personal relationships are more important. Look forward to supporting you as well in this. Same with art, it’s been awhile since I picked up my brush.
@Renelda – Your line was spot on -> “Don’t let others put pressure on you on things that are not worthwhile”. Thanks so much for your own wonderful words of wisdom. Can’t wait to chat again (yes, on the phone).
@Anil – Great to see you here and thanks for stopping by. Quality almost always improves when one gets away from the screen. So much so that I actually stop wearing my glasses for a couple days when I’m offline 🙂
@Joshywashington – Can’t wait to hug you in person! You rock on so many levels.
@Felicia – Hey lady! He’s my main source as well and has yet to fail me. I’m super proud of your new work and will definitely do a shout-out in an upcoming post.
Lola, always on time.
I asked God last night, really made a simple request. When I’m unsure of what step to take next I ask Him for direction. Now, I’m just going to keep on doing and then some, but this anxiety has got to stop. It’s like when you have so much food to eat and don’t know what to eat first. Is that crazy or what?
Ciao Wise One!
Felicia
words of wisdom by a woman I look up to.
keep on rockin with your bad self Lola!
I’m a workaholic and have to set limits around the amount I work. It’s easy when the computer is there and you’re setting your own schedule to get into a working-all-the-time mode. When I am able to pry myself away though, I find the quality of my work improves and I’m more inspired. Keeping that in mind, I don’t feel so bad with the occasional break 🙂
The old we get, the wiser we become. All of the things you have accomplish in the past has lead to who you are today. You have weed out the things you do not want waste time. Many people put things out online such as the latest trend, blogs, SEO, etc. THe more that is put out there, the more we lose distractions and forget the core of who we are. I support you because I believe in you. As believers in Christ, patience is virtue. Don’t let others put pressure on you on things that are not worthwhile, rather put pressure on yourself because you perfer. It is scary that many people are googling people’s personal life. Many people can be secretly envious and not confident in who their life therefore they rather live vicariously through you. In the meantime, do not waste time figuring out who they are. Rather protect the importnat things, your mind, your body, your heart, your family and your spirt. The rest will follow. Everything will fall into place all in due time.
Lola-
Oh yes, thank you so much. In the midst of everything swirling around, I’ve been pondering all of these ideas lately and have come to the same conclusion. I can’t–and more importantly, don’t want to–spend my limited precious time on this earth trying to keep up with every blog post, tweet, Facebook update, etc. Do what I can, do what feels right, and get offline more. That’s what’s right for me right now. And it definitely feels better doing that knowing that other friends and colleagues I respect are doing it, too. Fortunately, I can’t help but feel that this will actually benefit us more in the long run, and our families (and even our work), too. I took time this weekend to cook, which I haven’t done in ages, and I also decided I’m going to make some paper and engage in other creative projects I’ve put aside for far too long. I look forward to supporting you in your own efforts in this area.
I’m at a similar moment myself. I just completed the Kentucky guidebook that I’ve been working on basically non-stop for most of this year, and I spent last week trying to take stock, determining where I am at and where I want to go. I was hoping that I’d wake up today ready to go, with everything clear, but I’m afraid it’s not that simple. Trying to dig down deep, beyond insecurities and jealousies and other such things that make it easy to trip up, to find what it is that I really want to do and determining just how to go about doing it is hard…but ultimately necessary and freeing.