“The reason why we get to do certain things is that someone mentioned our names when we weren’t even present. That matters.”… Luvvie Ajayi of Awesomely Luvvie.
It took me six months to write about an incident that has been on my mind since it occurred.
Why?
Because the universe was waiting to hand me this perfect quote above from Luvvie Ajayi which she wrote in a heartwarming post about achieving one of her dreams of interviewing Oprah Winfrey and that full circle moment in her life.
I was sitting in a packed auditorium. On stage being interviewed was a legend in the photography world. One who broke barriers to become the first and only African American photographer to be represented by one of the world’s most prestigious photo agencies. We were there to learn about him, his amazing work, and his journey through such a challenging field.
But one single fact didn’t go unnoticed.
In 2016, he was still the only black photographer represented by this agency after decades.
So the question naturally bubbled up to the surface. Thrown out from a curious crowd. Why was this still the case? Hadn’t he come across other talented black photographers as well?
“Oh, I’ve discovered so many talented black photographers,” he said. “In fact, I discovered two new ones just last week”.
Then silence.
We were sitting with bated breath for their names to be dropped. To learn more about them and their work.
But nothing. No names followed that remark.
And my heart sank on their behalf.
In a room full of top photo editors from prestigious magazines, other legendary photojournalists, and the most recognizable visual brands in the world, those talented photographers remained “nameless” photographers.
In a room filled with people who could change their lives in an instant, they remained nameless.
Now I’m sure he didn’t subconsciously choose not to say their names and their names might have escaped his mind at the moment.
I wanted to scream out loud “What are their names?” but the interviewer had moved on.
Still, it wasn’t an excuse. I should have screamed out loud “What are their names?”
Say their names.
This seemingly trivial incident bothered me and has been on my mind for six months. I’ve been trying to digest it, to analyze it, to not overanalyze it, but it has been challenging.
Because sometimes, just saying “work harder” isn’t enough.
In some cases, it can be an inhumane crime if we are the ones who hold the key to unlock a world of opportunities for the person to whom we say “work harder”.
We all have the power in our own way and within our own spheres of influence to drastically change someone else’s life. To make that hard toil they constantly face on a daily basis a little easier for them.
It’s the difference between a friend just vocalizing their support for you or actually giving your name to that special contact they have that could potentially change your life.
Oftentimes, when we operate from a mentality of scarcity, we feel like there isn’t enough to go around and we hold on for dear life to the little we have instead of spreading it around.
Like seeds for a harvest. Scattering seeds in a field yields a whole lot more return that stowing them away in small pots on your balcony.
That is why I wrote this post about the danger of believing your own press.
Do we consciously exclude people because we feel threatened by them?
I strive really hard to remember people’s names. Not because memorizing them gives me some sort of internal victory when I drop their names on demand.
No, because trying to remember your name means I acknowledge and see you. I hear you. You as a person matter and your voice needs to be heard too. Whether we agree or not.
And many times I don’t remember names as well but I strive to.
This is why whenever I give a talk or workshop or presentation about creating better environmental travel portraits of people, I always start with that very important acknowledgement.
Their name.
Because according to Dale Carnegie, names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
So going back to Luvvie’s powerful quote. The reason we get to do some things and get to some places in life isn’t just for the mere fact that we worked our backs off day in day out and that we continue to do so daily.
It is also because someone not only remembered our names but operated from a mentality of abundance, didn’t feel threatened by all our hard work, and mentioned our names to that one person who held the key.
The key to lighten the heavy load on our backs.
Thanks for sharing! Will check it out!
Wow. Amazing. Saying our names and their names, yes..It matters
Love this. Makes me think about a post in saw on Facebook where youth were saying the names of those killed by police officers and it was So, So moving… ( Now I want to find it and post here!) 😉 I’ll try…
Thanks so much! So many things to think about and the small actions we take can drastically change someone else’s life.
Hey Lola!
Firstly I must say sorry that although I have come across you in the many FB groups we are part of, I never really checked if you had your own blog.
So glad I came across this post and instantly fell in love!
There’s so much truth in this article…the gratitude, friendship and love you receive when you lift others up is parallel to none (even if not from the same person)
And while I’m a strong believer in hustling, I wish many would lend a helping hand to those who could do with a lift..after all we and our talent is not here to last for eternity! 😉
Thank you so much Lavina!
I wish we all did more of this. It doesn’t even have to be a public show (i.e sharing work or tweeting). It can be done behind the scenes in terms of actually concrete connections which makes the most impact too.
Agreed! Are you coming for TBEX International in Israel? Would be super to say Hi! 🙂
Wish I could as I’ve never explored Israel, but I won’t be there. Hope to cross paths some other time and place.
Hey, thanks for using my photo for this article!
Could you please credit me directly at http://www.frsphoto.co and not the stock photo website as it was uploaded there without my permission.
Thanks!
Hi Felix! Of course. No worries at all. That is quite odd that your photo would be uploaded to stocksnap.io without your permission. Have you been in contact with them? Who would have uploaded it there without your permission? Cheers
I’ve already made comment abut your post on Facebook, but I wanted to comment here too and add a little extra point!
I
loved this piece. Well said.
Names are enormously important as it shows that
people treat you as a human being. Remember all the people who were
oppressed, and not so long ago either. Jewish families in concentration
camps – no names – just a label and a number.
Slaves in America – their birth names stripped off them – leaving the
names of slave-owners or given names by slave-owners. And even people
who have “harder” names – “I’ll call you Jack instead of Javinder” for
example!
All indicating how saying a person’s name is not only important but tantamount to identity and appreciation of that person’s worth. I’m thinking that the speaker probably didn’t do it on purpose. He just didn’t think about it.
Maybe he should!
Thanks so much for your insightful comments Victoria! Yes, I doubt he did it on purpose. The whole situation had me reflecting on a deeper level.
Wonderful post Lola. Thank you for this reminder. I love that quote from Luvvie!
Thanks Nadeen!
Thanks Daniela!
That is the bottom line, everyone wants to be heard, acknowledged, accepted and recognized that they aren’t just some nameless face in the crowd! Our world has exploded with so many people that everyone is just fighting to be heard. I try to treat everyone as if I am speaking to the elderly….they just want to be noticed, accepted, recognized, appreciated and most of all HEARD! It is all we can do besides give the one gift that we all can give and that is “Love”!
Yes, Monica! That is truly the key -> LOVE. And I want to specially thank you for being such a steady supporter of my work and my blog. For every comment you leave when I think no one is reading. For every word of support you share to prop me up. We’ve never met but I hope we do someday. So thank you! 🙂
It is my pleasure Lola, I too hope someday we may meet. I have always been the “I see both sides of the coin but here is a third opinion” type of person. And I always try my best to find that silver lining in anything. I have truly enjoyed following your travels through the years and I am so happy for how well things are working out for you. To think not so long ago you were doing weekly blogs with some assignments and now look how you have grown and flown! :O) I wish you much continued success and adventures both big and small. :O)
Thank you so much! Lots of love!
This is so needed as a reaffirmation right now! I was just talking to an old friend visiting from out of town about this same concept. It ties into my belief in the empowering aspects of volunteering, not simply to serve others without considering ones own need to self-preserve and thrive, but the ability and willingness to step up and out. Anyone can volunteer, even while maintaining an income, so it’s not to say that one form is better and more genuine than another, but coming from a place of that “abundance”, of spirit, of vision, of inspiration for those whom you care to lift up and support. This post and the referenced scenario give me hope and energy to move forward with my own endeavor along the same lines!
Thank you so much for your thoughts and insights! As you’ve noted, operating from a spirit of abundance to have a vision that also lifts and inspires others.
Great post. I think the opportunities are big enough to share. There is no reason why anyone, especially that guy should feel threatened by others. Such a shame as he could have changed lives.
Thanks! And I don’t want to make any assumptions on his behalf. He may have honestly forgotten their names at that very moment. But the bigger picture is what I’m addressing.
operate on abundance that there’s enough for us out there… lovely thoughts Lola ^_^
Thanks so much!
Yes!!
Thanks!
Right on, Lola! Right on!! It seems like such a simple thing. Something a person could dismiss as an oversight, but it happens too often for it to be something that just happened.
Thanks Leigh! Such a simple thing that can drastically change someone’s life.
BOOM. #saytheirnames
Indeed! We should start a hashtag #SayMyName
So much truth in this!!! LOVED IT. Such a tactful yet convicting recount. Thank you.
Thanks so much Gloria!
What a sad thing to witness – and in such a big forum. An important moment to share with others – thanks for doing that! I completely agree with you. Besides hard work, being recommended by fellow writers and photographers like you has most certainly led me to amazing opportunities. I’m always bragging about my friends doing X work in Y country whenever the destination, skill, topic or relevant moment comes up. Cheers to mentioning our names and lightening “that heavy load on our backs,” as you so well said.
Thank you so much Lily and I will continue to do so! We should keep propping each other up. <3
Love This!! It is So important to pull one another up and acknowledge the greatness in others. I see you and am Inspired Lola!
Thanks so much Nicole!